HIGHS / LOWS

by Monkier

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04:24
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04:23

about

I'VE HAD HIGHS AND LOWS.

YOU HAVE HIGHS AND LOWS.
________________________

credits

released May 31, 2016

Zac Evans // Vocals, Keyboards, Synths, Woodwinds, Production
Andrew Lastrapes // Guitar
Brandon Boone // Bass, Moog Bass
Robert Boone // Drums (tracks 2-9)
Umcolisi Terrell //Alto Saxophone (Terminus Horns)
Justin Powell // Trumpet (Terminus Horns)
Richard Sherrington // Trombone (Terminus Horns)
Will Hollifield // Tenor Saxophone


Justin Chesarek // Drums (track 1)
Tereska Grynia // Lead Vocal (track 6)
Katelyn King // Vibraphone (track 2)
Caroline Watson // Backup Vocal (track 2)

Zeke Levine // Photography

------------------------
Recorded in and around Atlanta, GA.

Mixing and Mastering at Marlon's House
Engineer, Marlon Patton

Drums, bass, guitar, and horns recorded at The Shed
Engineer, Umcolisi Terrell

Rhodes keyboard recorded at Fireplace Studios
Engineer, Tyrone Jackson

Female vocals on track 6 recorded at Dead Rat Recordings
Engineer, Thomas Barton

Female vocals on track 2 recorded at Lowry Studios
Engineer, Marshall Lowry

Music and lyrics by Zac Evans (ASCAP).
Track 5 co-written by Andrew Lastrapes (BMI).
All songs self-published by Monkier.
©2016 Monkier. All rights reserved.

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Monkier Atlanta, Georgia

A band from ATL.
------------------

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Track Name: Cold Open / Closure
COLD OPEN, I'm hoping to hit you in your soul
That moment, the minute you know you're on your own
Be broken, surrender your sense of self-control
Still holding, but maybe it's time to let you go

Or maybe it's time to let you know
That pretty soon the Earth is gonna overflow
Vibration, it sinks down deeper than the soil
And I'll take it, the chance to give you everything

That I am, revealing what is left
I'll give you all I've got. I'll give you my last breath
Show you the meaning of living that's revealed in death
But I've got no answers. It's only what I've heard

No, it's never enough
Some people run around, others look above
I think the question stands between fear and love
If the latter resonates then reach and raise your hands up

-------

COLD OPEN, glad I got your attention
See, my ego is in need of a mention
And I've been missing for a minute
Tell me how did you spend it?
Cause I tend to waste a lot of time

You're on my mind
And I don't know what to do about it
And I don't know what to do without you
You're withholding the things that used to seem so plain
And I'm scared by the idea of perpetual change

But instead of doing nothing
Gonna linger while I'm young
I've got my finger on the button
I'm a singer on a Sunday
I'm a college grad and a half
Rapped to watch you laugh
Lied to state a fact, called to take it back

But it's never enough
Be the chair behind you when your feet are giving up
I know that time's are tough. I know that life is loud
But I'll take it how I get it as long as you will allow, yeah

-----

COLD OPEN, I need you to listen further
Cause even beginnings all have an end
Even the negative sky shines again
Even enemies fall, the ground embraces them
Replacing the men with energy

Dark matter's visibility, freeing the demon in me
Seeing the need in your stare
So take my eyes and turn them into glasses
So when our gazes meet maybe you can see past

I've got one more month of living in this house
You said one more year, now you're trying to get out
Give me one reason not to give this up
You said one last time, and despite that I'll always be

Never enough
Some people lack faith, I don't got trust
The only thing that I wanted was to offer my help
Close the distance with you
And to try to see something beyond myself

----
(sampled voice)
"The beginning of a journey. When you begin the process of CLOSURE, and accept the change that follows... the end is always the same."
Track Name: Esper / 80 Watts
Bad thoughts on a blacktop
Kids, written word with the white chalk
That message that you left, I read it, no response
I don't want to talk

Dead city with the dim lights
Cool, red ink for the re-write
Forget yourself, don't call for help
I got the white eyes with the black fur

Monkier, we'll reoccur
This time it's a blur
Worthless purpose
Don't worship the thought of what you were

When you're stuck inbetween
The birth and the death of all things
Better burn your soul for blind control
Bring back the monkey king

I've been away too long without a song
To prolong the feeling that everybody's wrong

I need that restart
A little shock for my still heart
Government with drop a bomb when I depart
Build a city with my dead art

Better get smart if you want to stay alive
Do you want to die
Do you want to fly

Signal the youth and sound the alarm
And show me my proof and sing the war song
Cause no one lives long and no one lives here
No life inside fear
No love if you're near

So why's it so far
My limbs of rebar
My fur is on fire
No day for my doubt
Just show me the way out

---------------

Cameras on the catwalk
Kids, little ears for your big talk
Hear everything, encrypt your screen, decoder ring
Senses that you unlock

Psychics in the hallway
Pills, medicine for the bad days
Kinetic thought, just take the shot
Waste a warp drive in the archive

History, a little .exe
Ghost in that machine
Surge the circuits
The surface of seven unforseen

Seven highs they may rise
See the ESPER, the you realize
That the city's about to explode
See that signal in the sky

I wake up to the sound of sirens
Seeing the flooding
They're running back into each others arms
Everybody stop

That's war
You've got a lot but you still need more
I'd take it back, but it's got no core
You can feel the void in my voice when you feel victorious
You need more of this, hard drive storage

Just help me find the way outside
Make the path wide
The day that you died
Last time you sighed
Streets will collide
Day she relapsed
Why did you ask

Just had to know
Just had this hope
That she'd read your mind
Can I hear inside
Can I say it loud
Can I say aloud

Tell me where you want me to go
Track Name: Buddha Beads / Plena
One day I will return, maybe with lessons learned
And I'll stop asking what I did to earn
These stones on top of me
I call them BUDDHA BEADS
Meditative states never seem to fufill your needs

I've got to feed the starving heart
Gotta read to get to you smart
Jump in the basket and surf the shopping cart
Paint the parking lot red with anything you got
Convey it long enough to make the stop

That's a solution, a sound to keep you moving
Brain trash the contusion, refuse the resolution
Or leave it unresolved on top of y'all
Cause cash don't fix the failure when feeling can get involved

I'm an ambiguous amateur ventriloquist
The words never mean what they mean
So I detach my identity, ape what I'd rather be
Become like chemistry and the energies unseen

Wait, my generation is caught
When everybody's waiting for the news of who is next to get shot
I'm a reluctant robot
Automate the action just so I can process the thought

Cause all I've got is twenty something years
To be an influence
I can use it to prolong or put down the fear

It's god-given, I'm afraid it's a lot
Fulfill your finances, your future, then you flaunt your career

Nah, what would it take to be realer than real
Conceal your real persona
Leave your spirit dead in the field

What will you wield
I heard the word is a a weapon
So second-guess your instinct
If you're really feeling too wreckless

And roll them credits on my sleepless self
Suffer that or call for help
4 AM, focusing, it's not right

The ghost and the flesh, they reunite
I've got a nervous system
Can't relax
Find yourself in a monkey mask

-------

One day I will return
And I won't be concerned
Stand in the distance and watch the world burn

You see the ghost
To bear my BUDDHA BEADS
Active attachment's the only way I can excede

The individual, physical principal
Invisible ritual
Digital damage is critical, fictional
The thought that you can't fix yourself
Not typical, close your lids
No visual
Do something that's never been done

And I'll rewatch the rerun
I've got no loved one
I tell myself that I'm fun

I'm tired of progress for the sake of the sun
I'm running from being content
Time spent, I haven't begun

To even tell you
My little plans they fell through
I can't stand the thought of more miles

So I'd ask you not to move away
The selfish thought from yesterday
I'm missing the moments
And trying to make it up in meanwhiles

One day I'll be ready
You'll see
Track Name: Basically Good / Terminus
At the corner of sight and sound
Another night
Another need for anything to ignite

I get a message
My fingers type, "maybe I might"
But my mood is really set to solitude
I hang a right out the door

Feet move, no respect to my thoughts
Guess I'm caught
The head is negative
I want to get off

Twelve blocks down
Momentum's all that I got
The only motive is motion
There's not a reason to stop

So I walked till the clock froze
Time is the tension
There's a wrench in the plans
But notice I never mentioned the fact

Cause when you passed
Two week to react
Another four to fake a feeling
A day to bounce back

She said, see your problem's that you think to much
If I had to be honest
I still don't try hard enough

Don't wonder where I wander
The future's coming fast
Forget the rest of the zodiac
Cause how long will it last

How long will it last
How long will it last
How long will it last
I'm holding on
I'm BASICALLY GOOD

---------

Morning after
The rafters of the church are creaking
Sunday morning makes a fool of the evening

The sounds from the steeple
Will attack the veranda
And the path to my people
Leads me back to Atlanta

Not a panda, the issues grey
Everybody gets saved
When this rhythm lays
Dogmatic radio days

Lady's amazed
She said son, can I get your name
I said no, step aside
Cause I'll be on my way

Wanna relay what the witness would say
But I haven't seen enough of the world
Lately I haven't seen enough of my girl
What would you say

Your eyes betray the inner feeling
When I'm stuck like a stranger
Tell me what's the new danger
The cage burns, we can watch the page turn

Put precedence on the past
Things fall apart
The state of my mind is still the state of my heart

The state of my heart
The state of my heart
The state of my heart
Yeah I'm holding on
I'm BASICALLY GOOD

---------

Primate in a black cape
No white tape and you can't relate
New math and a bo staff
The metaphysics super cryptic

Cascade when the winds change
It's man-made, better get saved
No meaning in my words
I'm unsure when my hurts

I've been secluded for too long
With too much, am I losing touch
I regress, become less
My missteps lead me to the west

I needed you, to be with you
To redo what I've misused
As above, so below
As it was, so it goes
Track Name: No Hands / Data
NO HANDS, I don't need em
So no palms, you can't read em
Remain calm cause I'm feeling
The future fading fast, take it back

Do the math, I'm losing you too fast
That's memories I have
They'll never last
Watch me like an atom bomb
No alarm

Cold fire, make me into a liar
I'll conspire to cut the wire beneath your feet
When we meet that's body heat

I'll take the blow
We all got highs and lows
Levitation, break that code
I'm under gravity's load
I've got another mode

And I'm still hoping
Cold open, regain my focus
Every soul thinks they are chosen
But I mean it, you see it, you feel it

This time it's different
Knowingly, cause I meant it
I'll send that to the stratosphere
Blow it up with my fear
Stand clear

Just my rough draft, stuck on hesitating
But I want to
Guess I'm bound to backtrack, need another relapse
But I want to

The question lingers, can you take a second
You said I want to
The less we get, the more they're gonna expect
But I want to

---------

So how can we outlast, you've never been low
And how you get past, you've never been low
And how do we get high, you've never been low
So how do we get by

You've never been let go
So how does it feel to be confronted
There's still hope, but how do you deal
About to jump, want to be real
With nothing to grasp
No hands, Imma slip past

---------

Yeah, that's NO HANDS, you can't hold me
Got no plan, can't control me
My wide eyes watching boldly
Observing space and time
I'm in my prime

So watch the sky
And see that ape with a staff
You're just a way to distract
And don't tell me what went wrong
Y'all sing it like a battle song

The question lingers, can you take a second
You said I want to
The less we get, the more they're gonna expect
But I want to

---------

So how can we outlast, you've never been low
And how you get past, you've never been low
And how do we get high, you've never been low
So how do we get by

You've never been let go
So how does it feel to be confronted
There's still hope, but how do you deal
About to jump, want to be real
With nothing to grasp
No hands, Imma slip past
Track Name: Place of My Own
I want to be in your arms
I didn't mean any harm
But what would I lose, closer to you
I need a PLACE OF MY OWN

Where'd you go
Feels like I just stepped in a hole
Feels like I just left, but it's already messed up
Live like you never grow old

Some love like you never been told
Some thoughts that you shouldn't withhold
And some people got reasons
To depict these changes in seasons

I'm tired of waiting on time
24 years that I'll rewind
Can't account for the the thing that I wasted
Moments arrived she's gone and now I can't decide

Write a note when I leave
I'll be the ghost up your sleeve
Jump just to break the routine
Yeah, and I'll fall in-between

So should I make my exit
Or take another chance, that's reckless
To rediscover, reminisce, and rebuild
I know what I want, and and I know that she will

You know I'm characteristic
I'm so low key that it's cryptic
Girl if you sneeze you might miss it
Gotta keep my mind on that mystic

Give me solace, give me sunday
Give me meaning, keep me running
And though it may not mean a lot
Can I give you all that I've got

Take the shot
Reminisce, rediscover, reconstruct
Re-embark to new places
Redefine good luck

If you don't know the feeling
Then I don't know what to say
If you missed all my meaning
Then don't look this way

I want to be in your arms
I didn't mean any harm
But what would I lose, closer to you
I need a PLACE OF MY OWN

*breathing room*

Yeah, but the high can't save you from the low
Take that hit if you'll take control
Acceptance, regret this
Dumb and restless, so no I can't go slow

I can't let go of that energy
And I'll take it all back if she's into me
No gravity, no wait and see
If I'm hung up on you can't call for free

So I jump without taking the fall
Tell them I'm twenty feet tall
Reminisce over you
Living life beyond the wall
See how I'm over it all

I can't talk about
Can't convey, you're holding still
Hold back the years, release the will
To try and make it right, cause I need to know
Before the world ends, how far we go

I want to be in your arms
I didn't mean any harm
But what would I lose, closer to you
I need a place of my...

And you don't want to be alone
And I know you're tired of waiting so long
And when will you be closer to me
I just want a place of our own
Track Name: Giving Up / Dunkz
Yeah I wonder how all of this is gonna go down
Closer, but it's cool now
So let me know if it's real
And we hurt to heal
And there's some appeal
To GIVING UP on things

Yeah, still we feel the pull
The gravity of knowing in full
That I'm responsible for making sure that it's real
And we hurt to heal
And there's some appeal
To GIVING UP on

--------

Static for a second, need to hear it
Straight from the future, do you fear it
Doom's in bloom at high noon
An ape moves through the room like a spirit

But it's only to pass through
I was hoping you'd come too
See I got a clear view
We can sit on my roof top

I needed you like a good talk
I missed you like a whole lot
But I'm not getting caught in the same way
And it's a good thing that things change

Tell me what are scared of
Is it fake or real love
No doubt, I'm distrust
I'm giving up

But don't you know that I'm susceptible to you
So don't do that dear
I know that you need
Something more than I can give

Give me that
And I will tell you what you want to hear
Give me that
And I will give you everything you want

-------

Yeah I wonder how all of this is gonna go down
Closer, but it's cool now
So let me know if it's real
And we hurt to heal
And there's some appeal
To GIVING UP on things

Yeah, still we feel the pull
The gravity of knowing in full
That I'm responsible for making sure that it's real
I know I concealed that we tried to deal
With GIVING UP

But I'm trying to fix the conflict
A moment meant to relive
A menace making faces
And it's telling me what happened, now

Color my view with shades of doubt
A repeat phrase remembered plain
It wasn't me it was about

But I'm collateral
And you love the ones you hurt
And I linger when I leave
Tell me which one was it worth

What I'm trying to ask is who's better
Together or not, it won't let up
The feeling's that I'm just stuck
So I'm giving up

But don't you know that I'm susceptible to you
So don't do that dear
I know that you need
Something more than I can give

Give me that
And I will tell you what you want to hear
Give me that
And I will give you everything you want

--------

Primate catching cold lightning
Reciting ancient text with no regrets
I'm summoning something to equip me with abilities

Cumulonimbus
Got the sickness
Killing business, no witness
Filling kitchens
Devouring souls, I'm out of control

Maniacally cold
Mechanically old
Systems shutting down
Circuits rotten now
Operation not allowed

Riding on my cloud
Whipping with my staff
I just turn around and laugh
Counting cars
Write some bars

Hey I've just gotta tell you something...
Track Name: Highs
I said the HIGH can't save you from the low
I said the HIGH can't save you from the low

Crown me, let the planets sing
Coming from the west, return of the monkey king
Kill the clouds and behold
Immortal manifestation of never growing old

I sold souls for profit
Getting of it often
Watch it turning rotten
But you listen like he's a prophet

Am I your blessing or curse
Be the best of the worst
But I'm your final and first

--------

Return my feet to the ground
Insert my soul in this sound
Ride the wind like a pair of wings
Glued to my shirt

I'm overworked
Unaware about status
I've about had it
Guess I'm gonna pour it out like black magic

I can see your energy
Black hole physically
Night burn visibly

Fire lean into me
Seen your industry
Place I'd rather be
Repeat memories

Learn your history
At the height of my depths
Do you still regret never taking that step

It's like I'm looking over the edge
So why is it not happening yet
It's like the first time we met

Yeah, red sun with pale moon
Watch an earthquake turn to typhoon
It's always too late or too soon
That's the point where I lose you
Track Name: Lows
I've had highs and LOWS; you have highs and LOWS.
You see, we've all spent time in the wilderness.
Great days- only adventure,
And tough days when it feels like we don't know where to go.
There are days when living with no reservations is so fulfilling, and then there are other days when we regret not having more reservations.
I've had highs and LOWS; you have highs and LOWS.
-------

Am I your high or your low
Am I your high or your low
Can I let you down without letting go
The kind of thing that you can't control

Are we in motion or lost
Are we in motion or lost
Can we pretend that we never stopped
The kind of thing that comes with a cost

-------

I've had highs and LOWS; you have highs and LOWS.
He's tempted by the need for affirmation and love,
And he's looking at his ability and being tempted to just jump.
Sometimes we're tempted by the same thing,
Or things get desperate enough we're temped to jump just to end it all,
We become so self centered.
I've had highs and LOWS; you have highs and LOWS.

-------

Yeah, one day always come too late
One more try to recreate
Pragmatic, back at it
Make the most of what's on your plate

Take it back, unburn that bridge
Take it home, set fire to the fridge
It's too cold, where's your home
Need a place of your own

Cause I've got highs and LOWS
And I've got mind and soul
And we've got places to be
But we've got nowhere to go

And we've got time to grow
But there's just nothing to hold
So tell me is that high
Ever gonna be worth that low

Am I your high or your low
Am I your high or your low
Can I let you down without letting go
The kind of thing that you can't control

So tell me is that high ever gonna be worth that low

Am I your high or your low
Am I your high or your low
The kind of thing that you can't control
Am I your high or your low

--------

And still, he's in the midst of a battle. He's engaged in a battle.
His inner doubts, his demons (they're a part of his human experience)
Are forcing him to ask difficult questions.
Too often our story includes trying to be like everyone else,
Trying to be cool and accepted.
Being tempted to just jump.
We all have places in our lives that are lonely,
where we feel cut off. we feel isolated,
We feel like there's no one there.
It's a part of what keep us alive- to do something different.
I've had highs and LOWS.
I've had highs and LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.
Highs. LOWS.